"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend" - William Blake
They say, to forgive is to forget. You cannot completely forgive a person if you're not willing to let go of everything he or she has done to you.. True. As long as you remember the pain, the bad experiences, the tragedy that brought you to your depression, and the person that caused you the heartache, the pain comes back, the bitterness will eventually lead you to reviving the anger.
We might say, "It is not easy to just forget everything. It is not easy for me to just forget the harsh words, the cruel things that he/she has done to me, I can't. Not now.. " It's understandable that you feel hesitant on giving or offering your forgiveness to those who had offended or hurt you. We sometimes use this pain as a means for us to move on. We tend to divert our weaknesses to something more powerful, something that can easily help us to heal the wounds, and that is called ANGER.
It is easier for us to get mad, to hate somebody, than to forgive. That's human nature. But have you realized that it is more painful and tiring? Holding grudges requires you the effort to be mad, it requires you to remember all the bad things you have encountered with that person. Isn't it more tiring than nothing to worry or be mad at the first place?
I ask myself, "Do I have to forgive him for leaving me? Do I have to forgive him even though I feel that I'm the one responsible for the break-up? What it is for me to forgive if he thinks that I'm the one who caused it." I still have that question until now, but I chose to just forgive him and myself for everything. I know he may not ask for my forgiveness but Jesus told us to forgive everybody even if they don't ask for it. He also told us to completely forget everything.
We sometimes feel that it is unfair to just forgive and let go of the pain, but come to think of it, Jesus died in the cross to redeem us, to free us from our sins so that we can share God's glory and kingdom in heaven. He has the choice not to do it, but because of His love for us, He did it. What if Jesus said "Why do i have to suffer just to save them from their sins, what is it to me? It is unfair." But Jesus never thought of it even once. Jesus received and endured all the pain for our salvation. He really don't need to do it, but because of His great love for us, he sacrificed his life just for us.. God has all the right to be mad at us. He has given everything to us, but we still forget Him. He offered his son Jesus to redeem and save us, but we often fail and move away from Him. He can chose to abandon us, but He will never do that because He loves us more than anything in this universe.
If God can forgive and forget all are shortcomings, all are failures, all our bad attitudes, all our weaknesses, then why can't we forgive those people who have caused us pain?
Why do we have to live a life full of grudge, anger, sadness and bitterness if we can live a life full of compassion, patience, understanding and love?
I always pray to God that He give me the understanding and the willingness to forgive myself and those people who have hurt me. I always pray that they can also forgive me from all the pain and trouble that I caused.
It is not easy for us to just forgive and forget especially if the person who has done us wrong is dear to our hearts. But, it is more important for us to let go of everything than to live a life full of pain and bitterness. Remember, it takes a great effort to remember the pain and all the bad experiences that marked into our hearts, so instead of using the effort negatively, just continue to live your life to the fullest and start loving your neighbor as you love God and yourself.
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