Moving on...

Its been 3 months since the break-up and I'm still single, but happy.. Alone, but not empty.

Some of my friends said that the effect of the break-up brings out the best in me. I'm really glad to hear that. At least I could say that there was something good out of the bad things that happened (I just remembered, the Bible also says that God can bring something good out of the bad situations that we face. Now I can really attest to that). It made me realize that indeed, I can be happy even though I'am single.

I still sometimes feel the need of having someone by my side. Someone that will watch over me, someone that will make me feel special. Someone that will make me feel loved.... Sometimes I feel empty too. Specially whenever I see couple. I used to be like them. I used to be happy with my loved one. I sometimes feel mad whenever I imagine my ex and his new girlfriend having a good time. I'm feeling the bitterness growing inside of me.

But, whenever I read the Bible and pray to God, I know He's watching over me. I know that He loves me. Whenever I listen to my ipod (I have a lot of worship songs on it), I can't help but be moved with the songs. I feel God's love through the songs. I envy those people who can do things such as singing, to bring people closer to God. To bring glory to God. I know I shouldn't be jealous to whatever talent they have, well maybe I'm just overwhelmed with their talents. I sometimes wish I'm like them. But like what Rick Warren said, each of us has been given a gift (talent) by God. It's just up to us to know what it is, and how to make use of it.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still the same girl, like nothing has changed. I'm still the same girl who can make mistakes, who can bring sadness to my family & God. But whenever I remember what Jesus has said, "Whoever starts to plow, but keeps on looking back, is of no use to the Kingdom of God" I try not to make stupid decisions anymore. I try not to do things for the sake of dealing with my friends. Things that I will regret in the future. Actions that will displease God.

I'm not yet totally over with my previous relationship. I know there will come a time that I'll miss everything that we used to do. Moments that will make me remember of him. I can't really say that I depend God completely, I know I should, but part of me is still lost. And I'm constantly praying to God to show His mercy and grace to me, and to bring me back to Him.

I know Jesus is someone who I can really depend on. He's the only one I have. And even though this time is still difficult for me to get through, one day, you'll just see me smiling and writing about my glory days..