I kissed dating goodbye.. for now...

"When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances. " - Joshua Harris

Have you read the book by Joshua Harris entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? Well if yes, that's good, I should assume by now that you know what's with that book. I hope that you were able to take some of Joshua Harri's points of view seriously.

For those who have not yet read the book, it's totally different from the typical feel good book -about dating and being in a relationship- that tells us the do's and don'ts in a relationship. Well, it does tell us some of the things that we shouldn't be doing when it comes to dating or relationship, but in a Christian way......... Christian?! Yes!

Did I catch your attention now? (I hope you're not raising your eyebrow right at this moment)

I never imagine myself entertaining this kind of thought. Christian dating, meaning, no sex, no physical intimacy. Focusing yourself or the relationship solely to please God. I think I can never, and will never do that.. Well, that's before...

Before I embrace God's word, His salvation and love, I thought that being kind, honest, loving, faithful, patient and some other good virtues are enough to please God when you're in a relationship. I never thought that being physically intimate with your partner would hurt God and would make me commit sin. Well it does!

Little do we know, the simple physical contact between two person can cause a fusion of unexpected emotions. Emotions that could lead to something that we could not control. We thought it is because of love.. Well, it's not, not really..

I have done a lot of crazy stuff before. I just couldn't imagine I did all of those things because I was INLOVE. I thought I was.. I thought it was the right thing.. I feel sick whenever I remember those things I did in the past. I hated myself because of that.. I regretted those times that I fall to the pit of temptation and lust. If I could just only turn back time.. But I guess, like everything that's going on with my life right now, everything happens for a very good reason.

It's not wrong to be in love and to be passionate with your partner. God told us to love one another. He encourages us to look after the other. But what is wrong is, when you put yourselves as the center of the relationship instead of God. If your priority was to please yourself and your partner by doing your "intimate" stuff instead of doing things which is pleasing to God.

I failed to do that when I was still in a relationship. All my past relationships are not pleasing to God. It was totally wrong. I used to lie to my parents. I used to skip work just for the heck of love. It's crazy. Really. I never thought that I'm already doing a terrible mistake. All i know, way back then was, I wanted to be with my guy, I wanted to please him, and I wanted to spend all of my time with him.. Even the time I should be spending with God was taken away because of my selfishness and ignorance.

After my recent break-up, my point of view in life has changed. My friend (Badet) told me once that "Hindi mo kailangan ng guy/bf para maging masaya" (You don't need someone just to be happy). At first I thought its not true. Of course I need someone! Everybody does. Someone that will make me feel special again. Someone that will love me.

But then again, the more I look for someone, the more I feel depressed, frustrated, and alone.

I talked to my friend, I asked her to pray for me. She told me to read the Bible. To seek God, Jesus.

I started attending Sunday mass at Victory Christian Fellowship (Galleria). Ever since then, my emptiness has gone. God had replaced the loneliness with joy! I'am alone, single, but I don't feel empty. That's different. And it's amazing. I admit, I still feel pain, I'm still missing the person, the feeling, anger sometimes is still there, but God is so amazing that He replaces all of those with joy and a different kind of love.

I made a decision not to date or be in a relationship for a year. Or until God says that I'm ready.

It may sound weird, you might even say that I can't make it. But I know I can.. I'm also aware that temptations will still be around the corner, and that I may feel lonely and empty at some time, but as long as I'm holding to the promises of the Lord which is more truthful and realistic than the promises I heard before from my past relationships, I know I won't feel sad or alone.

I will never look back. I will never go back to my old ways.. I promise God that from this day forward, I will be His servant and that I will honor Him in all my actions including my relationship.