Haaayyyyy.....

&*^&*^@*(@$@!@!$@$@$

I hate it!!! I'm totally pissed off! Darn it!
Shame on you who invented that modem. I bet you can sense my FRUSTRATION. Oh yeah! I'm totally tired of dealing with that cr*p.

Shame shame shame on you worthless modem! I hate you now more than ever. You're such a pain. Instead of making the life of your customer easy and worry-free, You're being the sole source of disappointment & headache.

I'm not mad at the customers (well sometimes I become irritated with them) instead, it's the system & the modem that I wanted to totally smash!

Sometimes, it's hard to keep your cool, even for me. Sometimes I wanted to just end the call, send the customer to a different department and go on with the next victim, I mean caller :D
But sometimes my conscience seems to know what to do, and she convicts me of doing the right thing.

Life here on Earth is really difficult. It's dificult to win over temptation, anger, bitterness, pain, lonliness IF WE DON'T HAVE JESUS. I still feel tempted, and sometimes I feel defeated by sin. But, I think God is telling me
to rely on Him and just keep doing what is good.

Life's purpose

I wanted to be an aircraft technician.
I want to study a different language.
I want to sponsor a child
I want to travel.
I want to teach kids.
I want to....... the list could go on & on.

Isn't it obvious that I wanted to accomplish a lot in my life? Well I do!
Before I became a Christian, all I wanted to do is to earn money, travel to different places, buy the coolest gadgets, have the latest clothes. Everything that money can buy!
But then I've come to realize that as soon as I'm done with the first one, I will not feel contented and most probably I will desire to accomplish some other things more!
Plus the fact that some of my "wordly" plans are quite hard to accomplish not to mention expensive too!

Now, my only and greatest desire is to serve God (please don't smirk on me like that). It may sound absurd, but my love for Him is much greater now than my love for this world.

I can't hardly believe myself for thinking like this now. Sometimes I often ask myself "are you sure you wanna do that?!" but I know He is speaking to my heart and He wanted me to show everybody His greatness. My life's purpose is NOT to work for this world. No. But to follow His desire and to harvest as many souls as possible.

Sometimes life could be really tough. Very unpredictable. But as long as we remain with our purpose and to stay firm with our faith with God, be sure that everything will be fine.

Even today I still feel confused on what should I do first. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed! I wanted to accomplish everything ASAP! But I know God is telling me to slow down. To stay put. To wait for his GO signal. Sometimes we taught that it's His voice that speaking to us, but beware, sometimes it's the enemy's voice! So don't be deceived. Listen to Him carefully and faithfully. You'll know your life's purpose. And I hope that you & I can both accomplish it for His glory.

Word@Work - Mission Strategy

Luke 10:1 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. (NIV)

In case anybody should think that only the disciples were being trained in ministry (and therefore 'ordinary' believers had no responsibility in evangelism), Luke includes this episode. The Twelve had already been sent out on mission; now 72 others were told to go out. Their task was simply to announce that Jesus was coming, and that people needed to get ready for Him. It was the same job as John the Baptist's, to prepare the way for the Lord (Luke 3:4). But in addition, they were to demonstrate the power of God's Kingdom over sickness, as well as over ignorance and evil.

They were to be heralds, fore-runners, announcers: practical prophets who said, "We have met the Son of God, heard His truth and seen His power, and here is a sample of His kindness; welcome Him when He comes to your town!" Their task was critically linked with the expectation that Jesus would come to satisfy those who believed in every way. They went in pairs; partly for company and to increase their courage, and partly to check the pride which so easily creeps into 'successful' ministry. The key was that they were working with the Lord, under His instruction and expecting Him to complete the work.

Evangelism, mission and ministry were never intended to be complicated. All they require is the courage to say the truth about Jesus, and to demonstrate something of His truth and power to change lives. Find a Christian friend, pray together and seek the Lord's wisdom about where, when and how to share this wonderful message, meeting the needs of others as you go. Of course, there is no confidence for a fore-runner if you do not believe that the great person will come behind you: so we need to believe that the Lord will follow through your introduction of the person and work of Jesus. It would be a great shame if the Lord came close to one of your friends, family or colleagues and they were not ready to welcome Him as Saviour and Lord. So we all need to be alert each day: our presence in the community or workplace is God's advertisement that Jesus wants to meet them. So let's do our part well, together!

What do you want me to do Lord?

Sometimes, in the midst of our busy life, you get to have a moment of silence and reflection.

Minsan ang dami nating gustong gawin. We want things to be done all at once! As if we're trying to beat the deadline (deadline for what?). We force ourselves to work for something that is really not worth it. Something that will benefit our desire. Something that will win the approval of those people around us.

I've come to a realization lately. Realization about the things I thought I'm doing for Him. I normally read His Word and try to get the thought of it and forward an SMS to my friends, officemates and even to random people. My goal is for them to know Christ and God's love. I'm so happy every time I get the chance to send those messages to my friends. Hoping that they too, can feel God's love. But somehow, my feelings toward it has changed. I think God is telling me something. He's telling me that I'm not doing it right. That my purpose for doing it is slowly changing.

I've asked myself, "am I doing it for my friends to know and start a relationship with Christ or am I doing it for them to know that I'm a good Christian or am I doing it to prove to myself that I'm doing what I thought is pleasing in His eyes..." A lot of question has popped-up in my head. I feel guilty too. God made me realized that what I'm doing is not pleasing to Him anymore..

I talked to my friend. She told me that sometimes we thought that doing this "religious" stuff is always pleasing in God's sight.

She said that we need to be righteous NOT religious.

Sometimes even the things we do for our Lord is being used by the enemy to mislead us. We need to armed ourselves with His Word and to constantly speak to Him. I'm still wondering what does God want me to do.. Lately I've been thinking of ways on how I can please God. But I think what He really wants is for me to completely trust and believe His promises.

I'm still struggling. But with prayers and God's help, I know I will become what He wanted me to be..

Unexpected caller...

It is Sunday, one of my favorite day of the week. My spirit is high! I'm looking forward to this day. I'm excited to go to church after work. Everything is perfect. I'm not late today (proud of it)which is a very good sign too. Like what I said, everything is on the right place! Although it's heavily queuing, it's fine with me...

Got a call from a lady (I think she's old because she said that she can't see things clearly anymore) asking assistance to get her email to work. I thought, "Another so so calls" I go through my routine, asking her questions relevant to her problems. The call went fine. It was a good one. Short call. Then before we end up the call, the lady (Her name is Ms. Dorothy Ledum) asked a question. A question that I've heard before.. "Lanie, do you believe that Jesus is your Savior?" she asked. My heart was filled with joy after hearing her question. This woman on the other side of the phone is my sister. Sister in Christ! I immediately said that I'm a Christian. To be honest, on my almost 5 years of being a technical support agent, this is the very first time that I've encountered a person like her. I mean, we're both Christian! It's just awesome! I'm so happy to speak to her! We prayed over the phone and it's just wonderful. My heart is full of joy! I can't explain it. I just admire her. She uses every opportunity she has to speak out the truth about Jesus!

I will never ever forget her. She's an inspiration to me. I thank God for letting me talk to her this morning.

Wherever you are Ms. Ledum, our conversation earlier is one of the best calls I ever had. Thank you so much for being a blessing.

Servant of God...

Being a Christian is NOT easy. Definitely not. There's a lot of problems to face. Persecution to endure. Trials to overcome. And there's a lot of people to reach out. I'm not complaining, not at all. Honestly, I haven't been to any of those yet. Well, there are times that I've been persecuted, I heard a lot of harsh judgement. But that's fine with me. I don't really give a thing to those. It made me sad, but it never made me look and go back to my old ways.

Sometimes I could hear myself asking, "am I doing anything good for my Lord?" "am I truly following Him?". Sometimes I feel that I'm useless. Sometimes I feel that no matter what I do, it will never be pleasing to my Lord's eyes. At times, I think that I'm not worthy to be called His child....

But God always find a way to make me realize that He appreciate every single thing that I'm doing for my neighbors, for Him. That He treasures me and He is so proud of what I've become.

Like the father, on the story about the prodigal son, God has all the reason to celebrate for having her daughter back to His arms once again.

As I continue my journey with Christ, I keep in my heart & mind the purpose why God had called me. His promises of eternal life always thrilled me, it even makes me wanna cry out of joy! It's amazing to find out that we are being included to the few, elite and special people that will be in His kingdom someday! And the excitement of knowing it and not sharing it to those who haven't heard of it makes me uneasy. It's like keeping a very important thing that the whole world has the right to know. I'm being selfish in some way.

Our working permit for God is worth a lifetime. A responsibility that He bestow upon His trusted people alone. And it's our job to refer & hire others too! It's not easy. The enemy will ALWAYS find a way to distract, disturbed, destroy us. But worry not! Our mentor, shield, best friend is always with us. 24/7. His hotline is always OPEN. He will never put us on hold. He will never let us wait in a very long queue! Jesus is ALWAYS AVAILABLE for us. He always finds a way.

Now, let me ask you this, who do you work for? Choose your boss now. He's waiting for your application. =)

Victory over Pain

(Listening to Almost Over You by Sheena Easton)

Sometimes, we failed to see the true purpose of all the hardship and challenges that we are facing. It's normal. We tend to focus on the pain, on the heartache. That's our initial reaction. Nobody can tell us not to feel the pain and just pretend. Even Christ allowed himself to feel the pain. He cried. He allowed himself to grieve for the lost of His dear friend Lazarus. It's part of our nature. We can't take that kind of response out of our system.

I have a friend who's really in a deep pain right now.. I can feel her pain, I can see her suffering from the heartbreak. I know I can relate to it, I've been through it myself. She once said, "Sana hindi na lang siya binigay ni God.." I understand her bitterness towards the situation. I know she's not directly questioning God's intention or purpose, but somehow, I feel that she has doubts about what God is planning for her. It is normal to feel bad, to ask question as to why this had happened instead of the other one. Again, I've been through that phase too. And honestly, during my own heartbreak, all the answer that I've heard seems to be not making sense to me. I can't accept the fact that we are DONE. That all their advise of moving on and acceptance is not helping me at all!

Jesus is the ultimate healer. Our one of a kind BFF! (Best friend forever). I can still remember the time when I asked Jesus to heal my broken heart. I cry to Him, pleading to restore my shuttered life. And Jesus did. Without having second thoughts, he helped me to revive my almost dying heart..

God has all the reason and answer why we are in pain. Actually God didn't cause that pain, this world has caused it. It's because this world is full of sin. He has a VALID reason why we have to undergo such trials. All He want us to do is to remain focus to Him. I know it's difficult. Yes sometimes it's hard to stay focus to Him when everything else is falling. But remember what He said. He won't forsake us, He will never abandon us.

I'm happy that God let me feel the pain. I'm glad He allowed me once in my life to be broken hearted. Why? Because I was able to come closer to Him and understand more His will than mine. He allowed me to undergo such pain for me to grow and live a life which is more meaningful and pleasing in His eyes!